|Do not repost, edit, trace or heavily reference any of my artworks.|
I haven’t been drawing much since Patreon’s launch which may sound absurd and illogical. Various stuff is affecting me that is mostly not linked to this campaign, but also, you know, it’s hard to stay encouraged when you check for new patrons almost every day (sometimes 2-3 times a day) and nothing changes. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, maybe my followers just aren’t ready for this, literally put any reason here. *shrugs* Even if it hasn’t been successful and didn’t justify my excitement, it’s still fun to do the patreon thing for my dear supporters. There’s some kind of a schedule, post minimum x early access drawings and studies every month, and it’s a nice discipline for a lazy me. Even if I’m receiving $20 for it, I can’t be ungrateful. It’s a stable income, basically amount on my average food store check. Does that really help? Yeah it does. But also it’s quite normal to ask yourself, “do I really cost $20 a month?”. That’s kinda. You know. That hits right in my sensitive kokoro and makes me feel like shit every time I open my Patreon page. My productivity is heavily dependant on my mood. If I’m sad, I simply can’t draw, or if I have to (commissions/adopts), I’m just not enjoying the process. Using your natural gift/talent to earn money and feel like shit is a given way to start hating what you’re doing. If I hate drawing, then I’m officially done lmao. Sorry, I went too far in my rambles.
I really don’t wanna sound like a greedy asshole, I know that a big percent of people get downright mad when you mention Patreon. But how are you expecting an adult artist to survive if no one supports them financially. Commissions you say? Draw for every person directly? Maybe someone doesn’t mind doing that on a monthly basis. Sadly, I’m too fragile. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m selling my soul. Adopts and commissions are cool only if you enjoy them as well, if they are not a monthly routine, burden. I’m not aiming to make Patreon my main and only source of income ofc, but it would be amazing if there was at least $100-200. It’d make me feel like my personal work matters too. I’m not a commission drawing machine. No one wants to pay for fanart and original characters, but then why some patreons are sitting at $60000 per month? I know I’m not that skilled, but could you walk up to me and say with a straight face that my stuff isn’t worth supporting? Oh boy I’m going too far again and that puts a heavy feeling on my chest.I just wanted to make a gibberish update and tell that I’m not giving up yet, but the post came out too depressive anyways haa. Am I having fun with Patreon? Yes. Am I happy to have 8 supporters? Yes. Do I not want more? No. I definitely look around a bit too much, but I see other artists being successful and I wanna be like those too. Probably my initial approach isn’t helping much though. I’m getting upset really easy and yes, I’ve been upset 3 months in a row. Too bad whining won’t help me gain any more supporters, more likely the opposite. I’m a wreck and my attitude is so wrong, I’m sorry.
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Tools: Paint Tool SAI, tablet Wacom One medium.
I'm a freelancer. Art is the only source of my income.
Trades: mutuals only
Requests: only on Patreon
Please DON'T invite me for your contests, events and such on. I'll hide any comments of this kind.